therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
