So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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