But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
