She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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