dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
