she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
