I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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