even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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