i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
