god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
