Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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