Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
