we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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