Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
