So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
