i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
