please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
