I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
