he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
