Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
