Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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