I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
