I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
