Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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