fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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