There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
