Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
