Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
