I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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