I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize