his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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