this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No subtext here. People are naked.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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