My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
