can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
