If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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