Your mouth is God's brothel.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
barbara walters just said penis...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
