You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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