Fine. I'll sleep in my office
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize