Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
