my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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