they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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