Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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