You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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