Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
