I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Everyone says I win the strip club
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
