Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
