I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
