I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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