absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
