She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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