So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize