This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize