sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
