you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize