the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
In America we eat man semen.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
