I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
A+ Viking dick
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
