I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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