I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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