someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize