I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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