Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
