I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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