My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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