What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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