But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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