Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize