I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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