the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
