so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
