I want to have your abortion
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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