Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
